Look hard enough and you’ll find it

Firstly, Happy New Year! I hope you’ve enjoyed the festive season and all the additions that come with it. I worked for the majority of the last couple of weeks but I’m happy with that, I love my job and it keeps me going regardless of what my body tries to tell me! I’m sure I’m not the only one who may have somewhat ‘fallen off the wagon’ however I’m actually glad I did, its reconfirmed what I already knew … my body REALLY hates carbs and I’ve paid the price for what can only be called greed.

After some emotionally challenging and draining weeks with a very unpleasant relationship breakdown I turned to the trusty carbs for some comfort, though why I associate a swollen tummy, throbbing legs and serious brain fog to comfort I will never understand! That was justified (in my own head) but then I continued the binge throughout Christmas. In total its been about six weeks and in that time I managed to gain a stone and a half and my leg measurements have increased drastically. Talk about a punch in the stomach for new year! Anyway, I’m not one to dwell so as of yesterday morning I have been on very low carbs again and to my shock when I weighed myself this morning NINE pounds had left me already. Now that is some crazy water retention! I have spent today with the mother of all headaches, the shakes, mega fatigue any many other delightful symptoms of a sugar crash/withdrawal.

So that brings me very briefly up to speed and I feel ready to get back on the keto wagon to help lift my spirits and get my body back to full health. I’ve got an interesting few months ahead (that’s vaguely sarcastic) with a gazillion hospital and doctor appointments to try and fix my winging shoulder, to plead for funding for a sacroiliac denervation, lymphatic drainage and finally it looks like they will get me in at the end of February for a laparoscopy to try and find whats causing my pelvic pain. It really is non stop here, I know deep down you’re jealous I need to be fighting fit fo this operation no matter how minor it is, with PoTS and EDS it could make it a little less straight forward and I need to help my body prepare! I am also incredibly excited because my local doctor s surgeries have agreed to let me do a talk at one of their quarterly meeting to the doctors about Lipoedema! I mean don’t get me wrong I will be totally petrified but also super excited at being able to spread what knowledge I have and raise awareness for this hideous disease in the hope that future women can be diagnosed earlier than me and without th psychological effects it had.

To anyone who felt last year was a bad year, no matter what happened or how horrific things may seem be positive that things will improve. Sure, all in all i could say last year was pretty rubbish on the whole but actually there was so much for me to be grateful for that it makes the other things seem less significant. They were simply lessons I had to learn and now I can carry those lessons forward into 2018 and make it an awesome one. It’s easy to forget how lucky we truly are, gratitude keeps you grounded and can put into perspective those moments Where you feel like your life is falling apart. Every morning I wake and am grateful for the roof over my head, the bed that I lie on, the food in the fridge and the water from the tap never mind all the other luxuries like clothes and heating! Some people have nothing, truly nothing and yet they probably moan less than a lot of us. On New Year’s Eve I was told about a friend of a friend who had taken his own life leaving behind three children, I may not have known him personally but it really hit my core to think of someone who felt he had so little or could offer so little that the world would be better without him, it totally changed my thinking over the course of that day and I realised I must continue to find the positive in every negative Coming into this year and throughout it too.


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