It been a long time since I posted, longer than I’d realised! However, things are so much better now so I thought I’d do a little update…. (edit: turns out it wasn’t that little, sorry!)
It hasn’t been easy, I’ve been up and down in mind and body but I believe things are going the right direction now and dare I say I almost feel like my old self again. With the long list of diagnoses I’ve been given I have come to accept I will have times where I feel less than brilliant but that doesn’t mean I get to sit around feeling sorry for myself, no in fact quite the opposite, when those times happen it simply means I need to get some rest, slow down on work and just take a little time for myself. For a workaholic that’s not easy but if it means keeping a good mental state then I’m willing to do it 🙂 My partner bought me a kindle and it has been my lifesaver, I think I’ve read more books in the last few months than I have my entire life!
I have almost completely cut sugars out of my diet, following a loosely ketogenic way of eating and it has given me my energy back, that in itself has been enough to raise my spirits more than I can express!! I’m not going to say I’m an angel, I make cakes for a living so there will always be a cheeky off cut here and there but on the whole I’m being really good and it’s doing wonders for my health. My fibro pain and other creaks and aches are much improved, sure my back is still far from perfect but I have accepted that may be forever and my pain consultants are trying their hardest to get that under control (I have a sacroiliac denervation to look forward too!), I blame carbs for inflammation as it is honestly at an all time low since cutting them out.
I have started looking for positives in everything and appreciating the things I do have rather than the things I don’t. Turned out the pesky pain in my lower abdomen I was getting is in fact a bloomin massive cyst which will have to be removed, I won’t lie and say I didn’t get mega upset over this finding but it will be ok, a bit of forced rest never hurt anyone! Positive side … the pain will be gone … pretty big positive if you ask me! My lipodema (aka the fat disease) has got worse and that really does get to me but hey I’ve got it and you can’t get rid so I may as well be ok with it right?! And anyway maxi dresses and skirts are super pretty so it’s not all doom and gloom (see there really is positive things in everything), I’ve managed to lose a stone with the ketoing so who knows perhaps it will eventually reduce my legs a little.
Ashley, my horse, is better than ever! He was the one I was told to put down almost four years ago but I believed it wasn’t his time and I can safely say it wasn’t! We’ve been out riding loads and he’s so fit and strong that he’s actually become quite mischievous, I don’t mind that, it makes me smile when he’s feeling good as I know I’m so lucky he’s still here. Little Roxy, my accident prone terrier has been in the wars yet again, this time quite serious unfortunately. A dodgy landing on a tennis ball resulted in a snapped ligament in her front leg, which basically means her leg no longer supports her weight 😦 I cried for a day, pulled myself together, bought her a snazzy leg brace and am now wrestling with her to take it easy under vets orders for six weeks to see whether the joint can learn to hold itself. If not, she will need an operation to fuse the joint but we’ll cross that bridge if and when it comes. Seeing her bound around wanting to play gives me plenty of hope she’ll be just fine as usual!
Finally we have the baking business …. it’s booming! I’m getting lots of orders coming in which is fabulous, though I’ve had to learn to pace myself on how many I can do before my legs really start getting angry at me which just means I can only do two a week really, any more and I pay a price that isn’t worth paying! Aannnddddddd, I’ve learnt how to make delicious french macarons! Practice is making them more and more perfect but I’m loving it, I even made unicorn ones this week for a friends birthday 😀 I’ll try and post my macaron recipe this week, if you’ve ever wanted to have a go I urge you to do it! There are a few rules I’ve learnt you really must follow and as a result you get super scrummy, almost perfect, round mouthfuls of yumminess.
So there you have it, a fairly easy rule to try and adopt, look for the positive in every negative and hopefully you will find happiness and balance too! Much love xxx